Meet The Kids: Oddball, endearing and quirky answers to life’s questions

It seems as if there is a holiday for everything. March is full of them—If Pets Had Thumbs Day, Incredible Kid Day, Doctor’s Day, National Pig Day. March 26 is Make Your Own Holiday Day, so this month fourth graders at Swigert Elementary invented holidays.

Cat Day Invented by Thomas Newell

Cat Day is an optional holiday.

Cats are awesome. I only have one, but I wish I had more.

On Cat Day, you celebrate cats and cat relatives like tigers. You eat sushi because cats like fish. If you don’t have a cat, you can go to the adoption center where they have playpens and you can play with the cats.

Any place whose national animal is a cat has to celebrate.

Yay Day Invented by Corey Shively

On Yay Day you give people presents, but I’m not just renaming Christmas.

You eat anything as long as you can write out ‘Yay.’ So you can eat a piece of spaghetti.

—What about bacon? —Thomas asks. (He refers to Corey as the “Wild Shively” for his funny comments)

Yes, bacon is OK. 

You decorate your house with anything basically; you can put up zombie apocalypse decorations.

I know that scientists haven’t found this to be true, but if you live on Mars, you should find some way to celebrate it. The whole solar system is going to do it.

Everyone’s name on Yay Day is Bob or Phil, even girls.

—That would be so confusing —Noelle says.

It might get confusing, yes.

You also have to drink overpriced coffee. You go to Starbucks. You pay a lot, give a blank look, and say, ‘Yay.’

Every four hours you have to go outside and do a backflip. If you don’t do a backflip you learn on Yay Day. And when Yay Day is over, we shall celebrate again. And if you don’t celebrate, you will be put to sleep.

—Did you say put to sleep? —Noelle asks.

Yep, I sure did.

—I’ll make sure to move away on Yay Day— Noelle says.

Figure Skating Day Invented by Noelle Rithner

On Figure Skating Day everyone will go ice-skating, and all the rinks are open.

I really like figure skating (she wears glittery ice-skate earrings).

You can wear whatever you want.

Wherever I live, that state has to celebrate. It’s in March because that’s my birthday month.

—If our holidays fell on the same day, we would have a day like Yice-day. Yay-ice skate day —Corey says.

National Snow Day Invented by William Lanoha

You have to spend at least 10 hours in the snow skiing, snowboarding or sledding.

—What about jumping off a hill into snow like my brother and I do? —Corey asks.

Yes, that’s considered an event. 

You can only eat things cold. If you are going to eat a turkey it has to be frozen (the group laughs). You can eat ice cream, icees, and slushies.

I love the cold. Cold is my friend.

Anything warm is forbidden. Any shelter during a snowstorm is forbidden, including igloos. Depending on the weather, I’d probably stay in Colorado or go to the North Pole.

—That would be fun, until I get freezer burn— Corey says.

Wait, that’s not right. Frost bite! (the group laughs)

Big Sister Day Invented by Kasey Montgomery

Big sisters need time to rest because it’s just so hard. I have a 5-year-old brother. Our little siblings, they are annoying. He goes into my room without asking. He jumps on my bed sometimes. He gets in trouble (she grins).

On Big Sister Day, little brothers cannot go anywhere. Big sisters can go somewhere where there are no little brothers. I’ll go to a spa.

The holiday is not optional. It’s necessary.

—What about boys? —William asks.

You can have another day.

The holiday is every week. It needs to be constant because big sisters can’t take all that pressure.

Pet Day Invented by Sidra Eskins

You stay with your pets all day.

I have two dogs.

You hang out all day and decorate your house if you want. I would do it sort of like a birthday party.